The Ateneo Edge IS no more

Do note that this was something for 01 April 2008...

By the time this entry is posted by an automated script on my server, The Ateneo Edge may have been gone. Why? I'm just tired of it all.

I'm tired of pretending everything's fine when nothing really is.

I'm tired of living passionately only to be seen as someone trying to outdo others.

I'm tired of working for someone who I feel I could do a much better job given the positions were changed.

I'm tired of people minding what I do when they do worse.

I'm tired of hypocrites.

I'm tired of giving my all when others just take and take... and take.

I'm tired of doing Christmas shopping and spending thousands for family who eventually gives me nothing else but boxers when they know that I use briefs.

I'm tired of having to pay bills for the home then go home to an empty dinner table.

I'm tired of self-righteous attention-grabbing elitists who don't even look past the logs in their eyes.

I'm tired of being asked to give a massage to Senior Citizen parents some nights and put a baby to sleep on others.

I'm tired of not being able to build a real relationship with a lady given all the attachments I have.

I'm tired of being the odd man out whenever there's an outing or activity that reveals I only have nine toes.

I'm tired of a cruel world crumbling down.

I'm tired of living for others when most of people my age are living for themselves.

I'm tired of educators who don't know squat about hard life and assume everything will bend for them at their beck and call.

I'm tired of me making excuses for how others are.

I'm tired of me.

I'm tired.

I am...

gone.

I've worn my heart on my pretty long sleeves. I've wept in front of friends and screamed out on the Web. I've poured my heart and soul to the world... and The Ateneo Edge is gone. Yesterday was the last of it. The slate is clear. My slate is clear. Then life goes on.

I've chosen it this way so there's no way anyone can interfere. This entry would have been posted at 10.00p of 01 April. My last day would have seen me with MBoys09 and B2008. I've said that I would have offered everything I had left for whatever is left to me. I hope I've done so.

The past has taken everything I have of me from me and I've been scraped dry, emptied, and left barren. They took me in, they took it all, then took me out. In the following days, an entry will come out at almost the same time as this one to elaborate on my memoirs... eventually ending with an entry that will reveal my passwords for Facebook, Multiply, GMail, Yahoo!, and several other online services. I only wish that you respect my desire to keep everything I've left. This is my account of my life. This is me.

I've wondered how best to leave without burdening others with care for me. I figured that the only way is to return to nature — to be one with the stars, so to speak. By the time this is out, I've boarded a ship and hopefully leaped off the stern. Once again, one with the world.

Through all the recent emotional twists, I've never blamed God nor have sinned due to all the pain and heartache and heartbreak. Until now. I hope you allow me just this one thing albeit this one thing this big. I've never been a friend of fate.

Tomorrow, the story of 153. The catch of Edge, a failed fisher of men. An entry of apologies and thanksgiving.

The following day, to whom I bequeath which. Hayden and Ali never to part.

The final day, my login information for my services as well as my financial account information.

I HOPE TO GO UP... BUT XS IS STILL FINE.